In a recent post, I wrote about the quiet ache of “grieving the unnamed” — the kind of losses that don’t fit neatly into sympathy cards or come with casseroles. But even among those hidden griefs, there are layers.
What losses have you experienced that, perhaps until now, you haven’t recognized as worthy to grieve? Naming a loss doesn’t fix it, but it acknowledges it as real. And that’s where healing can begin.
Today, I want to name some of them here. You may recognize your own story in this brief list or remember another one that isn’t named here. I invite you at the end of each category to explore those thoughts further, to journal or express yourself creatively.
Loss of Identity
Who am I now?
This question often arises after we lose a role, a title, or a sense of purpose. Maybe you experienced a shift in what you feel gives your life meaning. Or maybe life simply forced you into a different version of yourself.
These transitions can feel like grief, even when they aren’t labeled that way by others.
Examples:
- Retirement or job loss
- Becoming a caregiver
- Changes in spiritual direction or purpose
- Shifts in how you see yourself
Invitation: Who was I before… and who am I now?
Loss of Health or Ability
When your body changes, so does your life.
Losing the energy or ability you once had is a real, deep loss. Maybe you’ve had to give up activities that you love, like traveling, dancing, or gardening. Giving up some of your independence often
feels like giving up a piece of yourself.
Others may not see it, but you’re grieving the life you used to live.
Examples:
- Disabling injury
- Medical diagnosis
- Energy changes with aging
- Hormonal shifts (like menopause)
Invitation: I didn’t lose my life, but I lost the life I used to have.
Loss of Dreams or Future Plans
We must also grieve what never happened.
This could be the child you hoped to have, the partner you never met, or the career path that slipped away. Or the thing you hoped to do when you reached a certain goal.
These griefs live in the quiet corners of our lives, but they are no less worthy of compassion.
Examples:
- Infertility
- Divorce
- Career paths that didn’t work out
- Dreams delayed indefinitely
Invitation: The grief of what never happened is still real.
Relationship Loss Without Closure
Not all goodbyes are spoken.
Sometimes a person drifts away, ghosts you, or cuts ties without explanation. There’s no funeral. No final words. Just a vacuum where connection once lived.
These losses can leave us confused, hurt, and stuck in limbo.
Examples:
- Estranged family
- One-sided friendships fading
- Rejection without explanation
- Ghosting
Invitation: Some grief has no funeral — just silence.
Loss of Safety or Normalcy
Your world changed. Whether tiny shift or big shake up, it feels like no one else seems to notice.
Maybe you lived through a traumatic event, a diagnosis (yours or a loved one’s), or a collective crisis (like a pandemic). What once felt safe now feels uncertain.
That shift is real. And it’s worth grieving.
Examples:
- Trauma or assault
- Fire, earthquake, flood
- Global crisis (e.g., pandemic, war)
- Unstable home life or childhood
Invitation: It’s okay to grieve the world you thought was safe.
Your Grief Deserves Acknowledgment
If you saw yourself in any of these losses, know this: your grief is real, even if it’s invisible to others.
Your grief deserves acknowledgment. And you deserve compassion even if only comes from within.
