Not every event that can cause a feeling of loss is negative. Of course, the death of a loved one or end of a relationship are among the top life challenges that cause a loss and the subsequent feelings of grief. But think about this, a new marriage can bring with it the loss of independence, and the birth of a child may mean the end of freedom to travel or go to your favorite night spots every weekend. These events can bring a mixture of emotions that are often ignored under the myth that they are supposed to be among the happiest days of our lives.
The following is a list that is often used to measure life’s stressful events to determine one’s vulnerability to illness. How many of these events have occurred in your life in the past few years? How can you take the time you really need to complete the grief that you may be feeling about these events?
| 1. Death of a spouse |
| 2. Divorce |
| 3. Marital separation |
| 4. Imprisonment |
| 5. Death of a close family member |
| 6. Personal injury or illness |
| 7. Marriage |
| 8. Dismissal from work |
| 9. Marital reconciliation |
| 10. Retirement |
| 11. Change in health of family member |
| 12. Pregnancy |
| 13. Sexual difficulties |
| 14. Gain a new family member |
| 15. Business readjustment |
| 16. Change in financial state |
| 17. Death of a close friend |
| 18. Change to different line of work |
| 19. Change in frequency of arguments |
| 20. Major mortgage |
| 21. Foreclosure of mortgage or loan |
| 22. Change in responsibilities at work |
| 23. Child leaving home |
| 24. Trouble with in-laws |
| 25. Outstanding personal achievement |
| 26. Spouse starts or stops work |
| 27. Begin or end school |
| 28. Change in living conditions |
| 29. Revision of personal habits |
| 30. Trouble with boss |
| 31. Change in working hours or conditions |
| 32. Change in residence |
| 33. Change in schools |
| 34. Change in recreation |
| 35. Change in church activities |
| 36. Change in social activities |
| 37. Minor mortgage or loan |
| 38. Change in sleeping habits |
| 39. Change in number of family reunions |
| 40. Change in eating habits |
| 41. Vacation |
| 42. Christmas/major holiday |
| 43. Minor violation of law |
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